Q. How long have you been surfing?
A. Since I was 14 or 15 – about 6 or
7 years (maths was never a strong
point.)
Q. What has been the biggest change
since you started (in surfing)?
A. The rise and rise of the booger.
Q. Where did you cut your teeth in the surf?
A. Mornington Peninsula – mainly Point Leo, but also Gunnamatta’s beachies
(my grandparents lived at Tootgarook, between Rosebud and Rye).
Q. Who is the one surfer that you most modelled your surfing off or admire?
A. Peter Crawford.
Q. Most memorable surf in your life?
A. The first time I saw a kneeboarder – 1979, paddling out in 4’ to 5’ Winki Pop,
looking down the line at the express train right-hander, with this tiny grom just
hooting, way, way up the face in the barrel. The light just switched on; When I
got out I went and ordered my first kneeboard – a 5’9” twinny, from Strapper
Boards at Torquay. Its fins were made from marine ply!!!! WTF???.
Q. What boards have you ridden or what style of board (twinny/ 4 fin/ thruster)?
A. See above. Mainly twinnies in the eighties, now a thruster Freak from Island. Neil
Luke’s another kneelo I admire. Turns out we both used to get shit-faced at the
same places on the Island and Mornington Peninsula at around the same time – mid
to late 70’s. I was only 2 to 3 years old, though?
Q. Where do you see kneeboarding going?
A. Well, I’m hoping there’s a retro movement of some sort gonna kick in soon, before
the original generation – us – all kick the bucket. Otherwise, into terminal decline.
Q. Why did you start kneeboarding?
A. See my answer to question 5.
Q. How do you handle the flack from other surfers being a kneelo?
A. Meh, give a shit. Actually I get kinda perverse kick outta being different from
the pack.
Q. What injuries have you received?
A. Mainly buggered knees – arthroscope on the left one.
Q. Have you ever thought you were gunna die?
A. Yeah, but I eventually persuaded her to put the knife down. God, I did not have
sexual relations with that goat.
Q. Has your family or partner been cool with your surfing? Have you separated
from a partner because of your surfing?
A. Partially to blame. That and the goat. See above..
Q. Do you have a signature move?
A. Yeah. It’s called the Cramp Spasm Bottom Turn Fold Up.
Q. Do you want to thank your sponsors?
A. Sure! Could they send money first, though..
Q. What was the first car you ever went surfing in?
A. Morris 1800. You remember “it Floats On Fluid”. Never a truer marketing phrase
was coined.
Q. If you had a choice would you
A. Go surfing and knock back a sess with your missus?
B. Knock back a surf with ya mates and keep ya missus happy?
A. A. But see above.
Q. Describe your perfect surf trip
A. Every surf trip is perfect
Q. What music do you listen to when you want to motivate yourself for a surf?
A. Brahms and Liszt. Sorry, no, that’s the stat I get in when I drink to forget…. Um,
anything really. If the surf’s there, I’m motivated…..
Q. Is there a certain smell or sound that reminds you of the surf?
A. Napalm. I love the smell of napalm in the mornings….
Q. Have you ever snaked or dropped in on a stand up and said to yourself
“that felt good”? and who was it?
A. Deliberately? Yup. A f….ing Portuguese wanker in the Maldives last year. Taught
him to carry on like a pork chop on his mini mal. He’d also dropped in on both
Johnny and Terminator.
Accidently? Yup. A French dude. Didn’t see him until I drove him onto the reef.
I paddled over later and apologised in French. He was pretty cool about it all.
Bleeding all over the line up, but cool.